Doctrine Regarding Root Beer Floats

The youth and youth leaders in my home ward appear to have chosen root beer floats as the refreshment of choice for their activities. That suits me fine, I love 'em too. I don't expect to have any problems in the spirit world knowing which side is paradise. It is the side with the root beer floats.

There is a problem however with the way that the root beer floats are made. I have been quite surprised that local leaders have not stepped in to rectify the situation. I did a quick search at lsd.org and other sources, and was disappointed that the doctrine of root beer float making has not found its way into authorized sources. Those who are in tune with the spirit, however, will recognize the proper procedure when they consider the options. The proper procedure for root beer float making is as follows:

Pour some root beer into a glass.
Add some ice cream.

Any deviation from the above sequence is not in harmony with the spirit. There is some symbolism to this sequence when we consider the first ordinances of the gospel. Baptism of course is represented by the root beer. The white ice cream symbolizes the holy ghost. If Bruce R. McConkie were alive today, he would probably make other methods of making root beer floats as the eighth heresy.

People who violate the above order (such as putting the ice cream in the cup first, and then the root beer) are on a slippery - or should I say frothy - slope. Well might it be said of them, verily they have their reward. That reward is a life filled mainly with froth and little substance.

Beyond the obvious symbolism previously mentioned there are practical considerations as well. Placing the root beer in the glass first is the only method of reliably controlling the root beer to ice cream ratio. Other methods can lead to disaster.

This may seem like a minor indiscretion, and it is. But if not corrected can lead to other, more serious sins such as having ice cream and cake at a birthday instead of cake and ice cream. Or worse yet, pie.

Please spread this message to all you know. A lifetime of joy can replace a frothy probation for someone you care about. I think I am going to run to the store now. I have a good idea what we are going to have as a treat for family night.